What is sexual abuse (adults)?

Any unwanted sexual act that you are forced to take part in, watch, or endure without your permission. Sexual abuse is another adult touching you on your breast and/or vagina/penis. It is the use of physical force, fear, being drugged or unconscious during sex without consent. 

What is sexual abuse (child)?

When a person older than the child engages the child for sexual satisfaction through touching them, molesting them, asking them to perform sexual acts, forcing them to watch pornography, asking them to film/take photos that contain nudity, and/or asking the child to touch the adult on their breast, vagina, and penis.

When to ask for immediate help?

• If you suspect that you or anyone you know is being sexually abused.
• If anyone forces you to engage in sexual activities without your consent no matter your age.
• If a child/teenager/adult shares their story of being abused.

In all of the above instances, please listen to the victim’s story (never show doubt), and then learn the proper steps to assist them in obtaining emotional/mental help.  The victim is the first concern. In order to ensure their continued safety, please determine what legal options are available for the abused. Contact the appropriate National Hotline/State Agency to report the abuse; including law enforcement and/or child protective services, if required. 

What are the signs a child is being sexually assaulted? (** Purple indicates my signs)

Note:  Please understand that these are POSSIBLE signs of abuse and does not mean a child IS being abused because they show these symptoms or signs.

• Social or geographic isolation of family (incest)
• ** Daughter/mother role-reversal (incest)
• Father doting/lavishing gifts on select child (incest)
• ** Children forced into parental roles (incest)
• Sexually-transmitted disease
• Unexplained pregnancies
• Bruising/bleeding in rectal, thigh, and/or genital areas
• ** Complaints of stomach and abdominal pain
• Evidence of regressive bedwetting, incontinence, etc
• Recurrent urinary tract infections
• Yeast infections
• Drastic weight loss/gain
• Evidence of purging food
• Foul oders emanating from genitalia
• Vaginal or penile discharge
• Lubricant residue
• Persistent sore throat
• ** Radical change of appearance
• Signs of exhaustion/lack of sleep
• ** Possession of unexplained gifts or money 
• Signs of intoxication after spending time w/adult or older adolescent
• ** Sexually-precocious or attempts to mask seductive behavior
• Hides secondary sexual characteristics
• ** Attempts to be unattractive
• Abnormal sexual knowledge
• Radical mood swings 
• Sense of danger where he/she lives
• Change in eating habits (bulimia, anorexia, or compulsive eating)
• Inappropriately seductive
• Apparent boredom w/age peers and age appropriate activities
• Nightmares, insomnia, sleepwalking and other sleep disturbances
• Radical change in school performance for better or worse
• Fearful about certain people
• Over achievement 
• Depression, crying episodes, etc.
• Substance abuse/addiction
• ** Expression of “damaged goods” syndrome
• Angry, hostile or aggressive behavior
• Fear of adult or adolescent
• Fear of being photographed
• Anxiety reaction to authority figures
• Fear of undressing or refusal to undress in gym class 
• ** Pseudo-mature/overly-compliant or accommodating
• Regressive, babyish behavior
• Intense efforts to gain attention/affection from adults
• Spending inordinate amounts of time in game rooms, arcades. etc
• Recruiting other children to become involved with an adult
• ** Suicidal thinking, gestures, and attempts 
• Hints regarding sexual behavior
• ** Fear of nurturing/withdrawal/impaired ability to trust
• Self-mutalative behavior 
• Find reasons to not go home (helping teachers, etc.)
• Neurological and verbal expressive delays
• Killing/torturing domestic animals 
• Self-hatred
• Memory loss
• Runaway
• Fear of the dark
• Find reasons to not be with someone they used to spend time with (or any change of behavior toward a friend or family member)
• Unable to concentrate, daydreaming, ‘spacing out’, ‘in a world of their own’
• ** Withdrawn, isolated, or excessively worried
• ** Excessive or early masterbation
• Starts sucking thumb or fingers (toddlers and young children)
• Becomes a perpetrator, targeting a child, sibling, or friend
• Fear of parent leaving her
• Inappropriate kissing in young children
• Nervous or fearful around adults, in particular, men.
• Not wanting someone, including a parent, to change his/her diaper or give him/her a bath.
• Imaginary friend(s)

 How did I survive abuse (all types)?

Every person has their own technique in how to survive, the key is finding what works for you and not being afraid to stick with it. Below are a few ideas that have helped victims turn into survivors.  (** Purple indicates the things I tried or am currently doing)

• **Journaling
• **Talking to friends and/or family
• Talking to a teacher or school counselor
• **Talking to a therapist
• Calling Hotlines
• On line chat groups specializing in victims of sexual abuse
• **Writing in blogs/online journals
• **Joining support groups (online/ in person)
• Seeking advice from a pastor or religious leader
• **Bathing
• **Walking/Running/Exercise