Many survivors find themselves repeating unhealthy relationships, for we grew up having no idea what healthy boundaries are or what love really is. The examples we were shown as children were exactly how we have typically set our lives to be…but that can change! We all deserve to be loved and enjoy love. No longer do you need to fear love, but embrace it. The sooner you can come to terms with the fact that you are “normal” for what happened to you, and that just because you weren’t taught the proper way a relationship should be, does not mean you have no right to have one.
Real love does not abuse. It does not harm you or push things unto you without your permission. It does not hit, slap, beat, rape, or verbally attack you in any way. Do trust that every relationship will have an argument, but those are only words and not hate filled words. You have every right to feel this type of love. You have the right to trust the hand that touches you in the middle of the night. YOu have the right to smile when love walks in the door so that you can embrace it with all you have.
Trust is the major key here. You first will have to learn to trust yourself. It’s okay to not take the dark alley home because you get an icky feeling about it. Just as it is okay to not date the guy who makes you feel weird/awkward inside. Trust and love come in many packages. I cannot define what your love is, but I do know what it is not. Believe in yourself and your ability to love/be loved.
Hugs,
Tiffani Wampler